Your 20s and beyond are awesome. You know why? Because you have choices and a growing sense of confidence. If you think about it, a quarter-life crisis is really just “confidence puberty.” You’re growing in ways you never predicted. It’s weird and crazy but, luckily, unlike regular puberty, you have the choice to make it awesome. To me, these are the things that us 20-somethings should be saying. I created printables of each saying, so feel free to download and share as a reminder to yourself or someone you care about.
Comparisons? Ain’t Nobody Got Time for That
Comparisons start off so innocent sometimes. You find yourself looking at someone’s photos and then start thinking “oh man, I should live there. I should do that. They must be living the life.” Then you start daydreaming about a life you’re not living and 15 minutes later realize that you wasted 15 minutes thinking about something you’re not even really sure you want. It’s so time-consuming and there is zero return on your investment. The solution I’ve found to this is for every comparison I make, I try to figure out what it is that I’m really comparing myself against, because it’s usually not the thing itself. Then once I figure out what that is, I take an actionable step towards solving the problem. For example, I used to be so envious of people living and working in exciting places (though D.C. is a pretty exciting place) when I moved back to the DMV. I thought, they must have an awesome life. I’m regressing because I grew up here. Why did I move back? Then one day it hit me, it wasn’t really the city or moving or any of that, it was experiences I had while living in NYC that I missed; the novelty, the adventures, the excitement, my friends, etc. Once I realized that, I made a concerted to find happiness within and in D.C. Don’t get me wrong, I still love NY, but I’m also very happy living here. In doing a little self-evaluation I realized that comparisons aren’t real. They’re just your minds way of leading you where you need to be. Figure out what it is your mind is telling you and take actionable steps towards seeking what you’re after.
I’m Finding Myself. NBD.
Whether you’re working full-time, temping, volunteering, or still in school, single, dating, or married, you’re where you need to be. I say this because “confidence puberty” requires that you figure out what it’s gonna take to make you feel confident. No one else can determine that for you. Anyone who tells you otherwise is going through their own confidence struggle. By “what it’s gonna take” I don’t mean “finding the best job” “getting married” “owning a home”. Those are all worthy goals, but why do you want those things? Figure out what it really means to feel good about yourself, to live a life of purpose, and find meaning in the world. That’s where you’ll figure out what it’s gonna take to make you feel confident. Jobs, relationships, money, we’ll all get there. In the meantime, let’s live it up.
Nostalgia is Like Wine. Good in Moderation.
College and high school are over. Start making new memories. It’s fine to reminisce as long as you’re not constantly longing for the past. If there is something you remember nostalgically, work to replicate it in the present. You have a lot more freedom to live life the way you choose these days. Make nostalgia work for you. I mean, really, does anyone actually miss high school? Those were some years.
I Love You Mom And Dad.
Your parents are awesome. Let them know that. They probably don’t feel like it’s been that long since they were your age and these days you probably get where they’re coming from. Your 20s are a time to make amends with your parents. My dad and I weren’t close for a long time but the older I get the more I’ve come to realize that you have to accept people where they are and love the positive things about them. My mom and I are really close. I’ve always gotten along with her and I think it’s because she’s always accepted people where they are. You are your parents sometimes so you gotta love the good and the bad in order to really love and understand yourself.
#IFLML #YOLO & Other Hashtags
I hate the saying FML. I mean, really? 1) It doesn’t make any sense, you can neither literally nor figuratively fuck your life. Who is doing the fucking? Is fuck a verb? 2) It’s just a terrible saying in general. Seriously….getting stuck in traffic, working late, are these really the things that define your life enough to share it with the world? I’m gonna get really corny here but why can’t people start saying “I fucking love my life.” 1) It’s clear that fucking is an adverb 2) Why the hell aren’t we sharing the reasons we love life? That brings me to YOLO. Stop hating on YOLO. Carpe diem might sound better and you might appear slightly smarter, but YOLO is a better hashtag. I mean there is no vowel in #CD…and the abbreviation alone dates it. I wanna start seeing some happy hashtags out there. I love seeing everyone’s positive posts on Facebook. Positive people are always more interesting.