My belief in a higher power runs somewhere between certainty and a nagging fear that it’s all just wishful thinking on a daily basis. Doubt is human. Faith is too.
Faith and doubt aren’t opposites. To doubt requires faith and to have faith requires doubt. It’s a marriage of perspective really and in today’s world, it doesn’t hurt to have both. I mean, religious or not, who hasn’t gotten down on their hands and knees and prayed for something even when they weren’t sure they were actually praying to anything at all? It’s human to want to believe in something. And that shared humanity makes me curious, curious because I realize how powerful prayer is and how intrinsic it is to our nature.
Prayer doesn’t require stringent formalities or even perfection. Prayer only requires two things: 1) Realizing how little control we have 2) A belief that hope and change are possible.
Now I’m no Star Wars expert, but I do know that Darth and Luke are father and son which makes me think that the line between darkness and light is pretty thin. Having said that, and having experienced the all-consuming power of “the force” myself, I’ve also come to the conclusion that there’s a very thin line between depression and hope as well.Read More »
A Prologue to I Promise We’re Not All Crazy: One Girl’s Search for Meaning in the Modern World by Ashley Boney (Illustration provided by the exceedingly talented Vashti Harrison)
Most of us have questioned our sanity at one point or another. It’s always a slow creep too. We hear the alarm clock buzz and reach for the snooze button. Sometimes we hit it, other times we turn it off the first time. We roll out of bed, stumble into the bathroom, and take a shower. We will the warm water to wake us up as we contemplate the day. Should I make coffee or go to Starbucks? Starbucks, we decide. We finish our shower, brush our teeth and put on our clothes. If we’re lucky our commute is nice enough to forget how much we have to do at work. We ride the train or sit in traffic with other commuters. We smile when a good song comes on. It puts us in a good mood. We arrive at our cubicle and see a stack of folders on our desk.
“Is it Friday yet?” we mumble to ourselves as we turn on our computer and wait for the blue screen to fade. We open our inbox and sort through emails. We don’t mind the spam. Deleting it make us feel like we’ve accomplished something. We chat with coworkers in the break room
“How’s it going?” we ask as we drink our coffee.
“It’s going,” they say doing the same. We contemplate what we’re going to have for lunch as we sit through meetings. Thirty minutes into the meeting, we debate whether we should start looking for another job. We start turning our attention towards lunch instead.Read More »
Bad emotions feel good in a twisted way. Anger. Pride. Irritation. Sadness. Blame. We eat them up willingly. We know that they’re fleeting addictions, among the most temporary emotions we have. And that’s exactly why we like them. Because we can ignore the bigger elephant in the room. The bigger addiction. That four letter heroin of emotions: love.
Love is a beast! It lingers past the point of reason, burning its way into our hearts and minds amidst the anger and the frustration. Love confuses the irritation and sadness and all but eradicates appeals to logic. Love is powerful. It’s the most powerful emotion we have. And yet, it often takes an overwhelming trigger before we come to terms with how much we need it. And that trigger is always, always, ALWAYS, our biggest achilles heel. Fear.Read More »
After the first few things you tell yourself “things can only go up from here.” You pat yourself on the back for staying cool. “It could be worse,” you laugh, so proud of your resiliency. And then something else happens.
This past week I found myself getting very irritated by a few incidents in the news. Some people don’t even know how good they have it, I kept thinking. If only so and so could walk a day in someone else’s shoes, then maybe they’d stop complaining about their stupid problems. I kept pushing against the world as it is, rejecting its unfairness. Then I stopped and realized, wtf, you’re being a five year old. No more crossing those arms and pouting. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still really awesome. In the words of Celie from The Color Purple “I’m poor, black, I may even be ugly, but Dear God, I’m Here! I’m Here! ” Here are five ways to maintain a good attitude about life. Read More »
The irony in writing this post is that not too long ago I was on the phone telling my mom, “I don’t even feel like blogging anymore.” I planned on starting the new year with a switch from written to video blogs but somewhere along the way, lost not only my motivation, but also began questioning my own happiness and life decisions. It was a huge deal considering I’ve kinda built my life around this subject. One could say, I had quite a few “coming to Jesus moments” these past few weeks that really required some heavy duty forgiveness. Here are a few lessons I’ve learned along the way.